kuro-neko

Jual JAV

2009-04-24T09:48:00.000-07:00

test post disini
yang tertarik bayarin JV disini

masih under construction ^^

Broken Wings [ ii ]

2007-12-18T22:03:00.001-08:00

Silent Sorrow

My neighbours, you remember the dawn of youth with pleasure and regret its passing; but I remember it like a prisoner who recalls the bars and shackles of his jail. You speak of those years between infancy and youth as a golden era free from confinement and cares, but I call those years an era of silent sorrow which dropped as a seed into my heart and grew with it and could find no outlet to the world of Knowledge and wisdom until love came and opened the heart's doors and lighted its corners. Love provided me with a tongue and tears. You people remember the gardens and orchids and the meeting places and street corners that witnessed your games and heard your innocent whispering; and I remember, too, the beautiful spot in North Lebanon. Every time I close my eyes I see those valleys full of magic and dignity and those mountains covered with glory and greatness trying to reach the sky. Every time I shut my ears to the clamour of the city I hear the murmur of the rivulets and the rustling of the branches. All those beauties which I speak of now and which I long to see, as a child longs for his mother's breast, wounded my spirit, imprisoned in the darkness of youth, as a falcon suffers in its cage when it sees a flock of birds flying freely in the spacious sky. Those valleys and hills fired my imagination, but bitter thoughts wove round my heart a net of hopelessness.

Every time I went to the fields I returned disappointed, without understanding the cause of my disappointment. Every time I looked at the grey sky I felt my heart contract. Every time I heard the singing of the birds and babbling of the spring I suffered without understanding the reason for my suffering. It is said that unsophistication makes a man empty and that emptiness makes him carefree. It may be true among those who were born dead and who exist like frozen corpses; but the sensitive boy who feels much and knows little is the most unfortunate creature under the sun, because he is torn by two forces. the first force elevates him and shows him the beauty of existence through a cloud of dreams; the second ties him down to the earth and fills his eyes with dust and overpowers him with fears and darkness.

Solitude has soft, silky hands, but with strong fingers it grasps the heart and makes it ache with sorrow. Solitude is the ally of sorrow as well as a companion of spiritual exaltation.

The boy's soul undergoing the buffeting of sorrow is like a white lily just unfolding. It trembles before the breeze and opens its heart to day break and folds its leaves back when the shadow of night comes. If that boy does not have diversion or friends or companions in his games his life will be like a narrow prison in which he sees nothing but spider webs and hears nothing but the crawling of insects.

That sorrow which obsessed me during my youth was not caused by lack of amusement, because I could have had it; neither from lack of friends, because I could have found them. That sorrow was caused by an inward ailment which made me love solitude. It killed in me the inclination for games and amusement. It removed from my shoulders the wings of youth and made me like a pong of water between mountains which reflects in its calm surface the shadows of ghosts and the colours of clouds and trees, but cannot find an outlet by which to pass singing to the sea.

Thus was my life before I attained the age of eighteen. That year is like a mountain peak in my life, for it awakened knowledge in me and made me understand the vicissitudes of mankind. In that year I was reborn and unless a person is born again his life will remain like a blank sheet in the book of existence. In that year, I saw the angels of heaven looking at me through the eyes of a beautiful woman. I also saw the devils of hell raging in the heart of an evil man. He who does not see the angels and devils in the beauty and malice of life will be far removed from knowledge, and his spirit will be empty of affection.

Broken Wings [ i ]

2007-12-18T21:42:00.000-08:00

Foreword

I was eighteen years of age when love opened my eyes with its magic rays and touched my spirit for the first time with its fiery fingers, and Selma Karamy was the first woman who awakened my spirit with her beauty and led me into the garden of high affection, where days pass like dreams and nights like weddings.

Selma Karamy was the one who taught me to worship beauty by the example of her own beauty and revealed to me the secret of love by her affection; se was the one who first sang to me the poetry of real life.

Every young man remembers his first love and tries to recapture that strange hour, the memory of which changes his deepest feeling and makes him so happy in spite of all the bitterness of its mystery.

In every young man's life there is a "Selma" who appears to him suddenly while in the spring of life and transforms his solitude into happy moments and fills the silence of his nights with music.

I was deeply engrossed in thought and contemplation and seeking to understand the meaning of nature and the revelation of books and scriptures when I heard LOVE whispered into my ears through Selma's lips. My life was a coma, empty like that of Adam's in Paradise, when I saw Selma standing before me like a column of light. She was the Eve of my heart who filled it with secrets and wonders and made me understand the meaning of life.

The first Eve led Adam out of Paradise by her own will, while Selma made me enter willingly into the paradise of pure love and virtue by her sweetness and love; but what happened to the first man also happened to me, and the fiery word which chased Adam out of Paradise was like the one which frightened me by its glittering edge and forced me away from paradise of my love without having disobeyed any order or tasted the fruit of the forbidden tree.

Today, after many years have passed, I have nothing left out of that beautiful dream except painful memories flapping like invisible wings around me, filling the depths of my heart with sorrow, and bringing tears to my eyes; and my beloved, beautiful Selma, is dead and nothing is left to commemorate her except my broken heart and tomb surrounded by cypress trees. That tomb and this heart are all that is left to bear witness of Selma.

The silence that guards the tomb does not reveal God's secret in the obscurity of the coffin, and the rustling of the branches whose roots suck the body's elements do not tell the mysteries of the grave, by the agonized sighs of my heart announce to the living the drama which love, beauty, and death have performed.

Oh, friends of my youth who are scattered in the city of Beirut, when you pass by the cemetery near the pine forest, enter it silently and walk slowly so the tramping of your feet will not disturb the slumber of the dead, and stop humbly by Selma's tomb and greet the earth that encloses her corpse and mention my name with deep sigh and say to yourself, "here, all the hopes of Gibran, who is living as prisoner of love beyond the seas, were buried. On this spot he lost his happiness, drained his tears, and forgot his smile."

By that tomb grows Gibran's sorrow together with the cypress trees, and above the tomb his spirit flickers every night commemorating Selma, joining the branches of the trees in sorrowful wailing, mourning and lamenting the going of Selma, who, yesterday was a beautiful tune on the lips of life and today is a silent secret in the bosom of the earth.

Oh, comrades of my youth! I appeal to you in the names of those virgins whom your hearts have loved, to lay a wreath of flowers on the forsaken tomb of my beloved, for the flowers you lay on Selma's tomb are like falling drops of dew for the eyes of dawn on the leaves of withering rose.

a love song

2007-12-11T04:32:00.000-08:00

I love you,

I really love you.

I love you till it hurts.

I know I love you,

I’m sure I love you.

That love grow stronger everyday

Yes, I’m positive this is love.

But what is love?

Now… I THINK I love you.

I can’t understand what love says,

But I guess... i love you.

If this is not love, then what is?

Please love me, so I know this is love.

I know I want to love you,

So I’m thinking that I love you.

Hey…do I love you?

Love you…love you not.

Love you. So, I do love you then.

It’s not as hurt as before, is this love?

Even tough it is not, I still want to love you

Coz when nobody loves you, that precious you,

Who else in this world deserved to be loved?

So I do, really do love you!

a love song

2007-12-11T04:21:00.000-08:00

I love you,

I really love you.

I love you till it hurts.

I know I love you,

I’m sure I love you.

That love grow stronger everyday

Yes, I’m positive this is love.

But what is love?

Now… I THINK I love you.

I can’t understand what love says,

But I guess... i love you.

If this is not love, then what is?

Please love me, so I know this is love.

I know I want to love you,

So I’m thinking that I love you.

Hey…do I love you?

Love you…love you not.

Love you. So, I do love you then.

It’s not as hurt as before, is this love?

Even tough it is not, I still want to love you

Coz when nobody loves you, that precious you,

Who else in this world deserved to be loved?

So I do, really do love you!

that Ghost is me

2007-11-14T19:51:00.000-08:00

that's true if those dreams related one to another
simple think klo itu hanya bunga tidur but hey always on my mind >_<

--

¹ someone I walked on (but I can't recall who is he?) and then that red spirit show her face to me closely >_<

² 4th encountered with him *again* since last august month
where are you?! I always asked to this self

³ a grey vague room
but dunno why I want to change it become green
there are daddy mommy and their little boy
some neighbor said that was a haunted house we lived in
he bring me that young housewife to that old mirror
and said she looks like you mean the ghost lady but more older
she get closer to that mirror
see deeply
and... that Ghost is me

--

setelah itu terbangun dan selama perjalanan kekantor til the lunch time I feel my body so weak like your half soul is lost -_-

I asked to my friend with her point of view:

" To see a woman in your dream, represents nurturance, passivity, caring nature, and love. It refers to your own female aspects or may also represent your mother. Alternatively, it may indicate temptation and guilt."

" Red is an indication of raw energy, force, vigor, intense passion, aggression, power, courage and passion. The color Red has deep emotional and spiritual connotations. Red is also the color of danger, shame, sexual impulse and urges. Perhaps you need to stop and think about your actions."

" To see or talk to spirits in your dream, signifies your fears about death. The spirits may be trying to guide you through some issues or problems. Pay particular attention to the spirits as they may be an answer to a waking problem"

" To see your wife in your dream, signifies discord and unresolved issues."

" Gray indicates fear, fright, depression, ill health, ambivalence and confusion. You may feel emotionally distant or detached."

" Green signifies a positive change, good health, growth, healing, hope, vigor, vitality, peace, and serenity. Green also symbolic of your strive to gain recognition and establish your independence."

"To dream of having a good neighbor, signifies enjoyment and tranquility at home. To dream of having an angru neighbor, signifies quarrels, dissensions and possibly relocation from your home."

In general, ghosts symbolize aspects of yourself that you fear.
something unfinished
yang jadi penyebab pembawaan negatif ke gue katanya
maka dari itu knapa dimimpi gue minta ganti warna kamar tersebut yang tadinya kelam jadi hijau, so I can get the peace of mind
ada banyak yang dikhawatirkan?!

iya..

24個シリンダー

2007-11-14T19:49:00.000-08:00

an end begins a trivial matter
it's a time to burn everything
if I could forget you without hesitation ...

serious injury laughs at me
the time is changing, the passage of time
burns me.. you.. now

solitude laughs as it likes
you laugh as you look down
the time is over, the time will stop, at the end of
the time, sleeping with a kiss to unheated death

Cradle of Filth - Nymphetamine (Overdose)

2007-11-13T23:39:00.000-08:00

Evanescent like the scent of decay
I was fading from the race
When in despair, my darkest days
Ran amok and forged her face
From the fairest of handmaidens to
A slick perverted wraith

Nymphetamine

Heaving midst narcissus
On a maledict blanket of stars
She was all three wishes
Sex, sex, sex

A lover hung on her death row
I was hooked on her disease
Highly strung like Cupid's bow
Whose arrows hungered meat
And the blinding flare of passion
In the shade of narrow streets
Where their poison never rationed
All the tips they left in me

Two tracks
Bric-a-brac
Something passed between us
Like a bad crack
Upward-lit
I'd met another kind

Of rat
In fact
With every rome inside me
Licked and ransacked
She haunted at the corners of my mind

In black
Cataracts
Wouldn't whitewash away
Her filthy smoke stack
She burnt me like a furnace
For my future suicide

Lead to the river
Midsummer, I waved
A 'V'' of black swans
On with hope to the grave
All through Red September
With skies fire-paved
I begged you appear
Like a thorn for the holy ones

Cold was my soul
Untold was the pain
I faced when you left me
A rose in the rain
So I swore to the razor
That never, enchained
Would your dark nails of faith
Be pushed through my veins again

Bared on your tomb
I'm a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?
For once upon a time
From the binds of your lowliness
I could always find
The right slot for your sacred key

Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discolours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, a vampyric addiction
To her alone in full submission
None better
Nymphetamine

Nymphetamine, nymphetamine
Nymphetamine girl
Nymphetamine, nymphetamine
My nymphetamine girl

Wracked with your charm
I am circled like prey
Back in the forest
Where whispers persuade
More sugar trails
More white lady laid
Than pillars of salt

Fold to my arms
Hold their mesmeric sway
And dance her to the moon
As we did in those golden days

Christening stars
I remember the way
We were needle and spoon
Mislaid in the burning hay

Bared on your tomb
I'm a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?
For once upon a time
From the binds of your lowliness
I could always find
The right slot for your sacred key

Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discolours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, a vampyric addiction
To her alone in full submission
None better
Nymphetamine

Sunsetter
Nymphetamine (Nymphetamine)
None better
Nymphetamine

Two tracks
Bric-a-brac
Something passed between us
Like a bad crack
Upward-lit
I'd met another kind

Of rat
In fact
With every rome inside me
Licked and ransacked
She haunted at the corners of my mind

In black
Cataracts
Wouldn't whitewash away
Her filthy smoke stack
She burnt me like a furnace
For my future suicide